A Night of Despair

I spent an entire evening lying beside my husband in a hospital bed sobbing.  Not just tears here and there.  Constant sobbing!  It was not a pretty sight!  I don’t remember all the details of that night but I remember sobbing that my faith was gone!  I remember screaming at God that His plans aren’t good, they are terrible.  I remember wandering into a hotel in the wee hours of the morning, asking for a room, needing to be alone and the man asks, are you okay?  My response, NO!  He says do you need me to call the police or someone for you?  My response, NO!!!!!  Worst night ever.  A night of despair.  I never ever want to go back to that night again.
Moses has led the Israelites out of Egypt.  Never mind God had sent plague after plague right before this.  God had showed His strength and His protection in exuberant ways.  But the next little thing happens and the Israelites start losing their faith.  We’d rather be slaves in Egypt than die out here they say!  In the moment, the Israelites thought their awful slavery was better than their current situation.
The Israelites were not known for waiting on the Lord.  Neither am I.  To wait on the Lord is to rest in the confident assurance that, regardless of the details or difficulties we face in this life, God is on our side and will raise up His standard against the issue for the advancement of His Kingdom.  He has a plan. We just need to wait, listen, trust and respond how He directs.
To wait with confident assurance even when difficulties abound everywhere that God is on our side?  I would venture to say that in the middle of difficult times, most of us don’t wait on the Lord.  We tend to lose the assurance that God is for us.  
Fast Forward…
I am a completely different person than I was the night I crawled into a hotel room in such a desperate state.  God has worked miracles in my life.  He is still working miracles in my life.  Had I not been in that place of despair, God could not have worked the miracles He is working in my heart and life.   I see broken when I look at me.  God sees mended!  He is doing a new thing!
The Israelites didn’t die there at the Red Sea.  God parted the waters and they crossed on dry land.  If we follow the story of the Israelites, the very next chapter (Exodus 15), we see God lifted high!
v. 2:  The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.  This is my God, and I will praise him—
v. 3:  The Lord is a warrior; Yahweh is his name!
v. 11:  “Who is like you among the gods, O Lord—
glorious in holiness, awesome in splendor, performing great wonders?
v. 13:  With your unfailing love you lead the people you have redeemed.

To wait on the Lord is to rest in the confident assurance that, regardless of the details or difficulties we face in this life, God is on our side.  He is advancing His kingdom.  He has a plan.
When difficult times arise, when confusion is overwhelming you, when uncertainty abounds, when your emotions are overtaking, if we can take a minute to step back and remember!  May we claim that Our God is a Warrior.  He is our strength.  He has performed great things in our lives, and His unfailing love will lead the redeemed.  
Rewind:  My night of despair...instead of sobbing and yelling at God, what would have happened if I would have taken a step back and remembered.  What if I had remembered the truths I have spent a lifetime learning?  What if I had waited with confident assurance that God was doing something in the middle of chaos?  Standing at the Red Sea, what would have happened if the Israelites had stopped and remembered the great works God had just done and waited with confident assurance that God was on their side?
We don’t get to rewind in life and get do overs.  I don’t get to go back and redo my night of despair.  The Israelites didn’t have opportunity to redo their response when they got to the Red Sea.  But what we do get is other opportunities to wait with confident assurance.  The next time you are tempted to fall into despair, may you claim His truths and sing His praises out loud.  It might not feel like truth, but go ahead and claim them out loud over and over and over again.  Take a step back, remember His faithfulness.  Remember His truth. Wait on Him!  Heavenly perspective comes as we focus not on the trouble but on the Lord’s voice in the matter.  
Exodus 14:13 says, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today.
  1. Do you tend to fall into despair when troubles or difficulties come?  Or do you wait with confident assurance that God has a plan?  
  2. Choose a truth to speak out loud over a difficult circumstance in your life today.  Write it out so you can see it.  Put it in your kitchen, on your computer screen, on your desk, in your car.  As you go about your day, practice saying His truth out loud over your circumstance today.  Heavenly perspective will come as you focus on His voice!

--Karen Smith

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